The Greeter Gauntlet
In just a few hours I will return to church, and I am already dreading my least favorite part of attending a suburban megachurch: The Greeter Gauntlet.
Back in the 80s or 90s when the whole non-denominational, mega-church, coffee-and-kidschurch movement began (I believe as the result of a dare), it was immediately determined that the only way to combat the impersonal atmosphere inerrant in the mega-church concept was to create an army of volunteers known as “The Greeters”. The Greeters stated job is to “make church visitors feel welcome.” This job can be broken down into three basic tasks: a) smile, b) open the door, and c) say “Welcome to [Insert church name here]“.
At my church, you must go through several levels of Greeter. There are always a few out at the edge of the sidewalk to give you the first “Welcome to Church!’. Then you get it again at the first set of doors, and yet again at the final set of doors leading into the “Atrium” (they used to be called foyers). Thus, I call it “The Gauntlet”. My church is big enough that there are plenty of greeters to go around, and they rotate. I think the Greeter job is especially popular because you get to wear matching polos and a lanyard name-tag. No one else gets the lanyards. All that to say that there are enough greeters to make them only seem familiar, and not recognizable. Since I usually get the same “Welcome to Church!”, it is safe to say they feel the same way about the thousands of people who come in the door every week.
The reason the gauntlet makes me uncomfortable is the same reason the mandatory, greet-the-people-around-you (covered very well at the Stuff Christians Like blog) during the church service always seems so awkward. The design is to make people feel welcome, but to me there is a big difference between welcoming people and making them feel welcome.
When the door-to-door vacuum people come to my door, I welcome them. I welcome them well. I like to think I am a friendly guy, even to salespeople. But when they ask to come in and prove to me how great their vacuum is by dumping dirt in my living room, I don’t make them feel welcome. I always wonder if they actually want to sell me a vacuum, or if they are more interested in taking a mental inventory of my stuff and how much their boyfriend could carry out in fifteen minutes. However, if the vacuum salesperson were a personal friend, or if a personal friend was standing next to them saying, “This vaccum salesperson is legit. I let them hold my baby,” I would make them feel welcome. They could pour dirt on my carpet, and I would get them a glass of water and possibly make them a sandwich. If they had time, I would invite them to have a seat on the couch and watch an episode of Mythbusters.
When someone goes through the worship gauntlet, they welcome you, and technically, they let you in the door. But they don’t give you the secret code that gets you back in the office area. That’s reserved for the people you trust. The problem is that you can go through the Gauntlet 52 weeks a year and never truly feel welcomed. You’ll be welcomed approximately 130 times (since the sidewalk greeter is usually only there half of the time), but no one will take you in the back, make you a sandwich and ask you about your favorite show on Discovery. Sure, it happens from time to time. But it doesn’t happen most of the time.
Unfortunately, I present no easy solution to this problem. I don’t imagine small churches have a hard time with this. I’ve been to some pretty small churches, and they know each other, and they know if you’re new. They may not do a good job of reaching out to you if you’re new, but they know it. And if they are a good church, someone will have you over to dinner. I have been to some good small churches who have overwhelmed me with their hospitality. I have been to some where the primary concern was whether or not someone was sitting in “their” pew. But it’s easier for them to make you feel (or not feel) welcome when they know you, or if they know you are new.
I wish I could make this easier for the big church, because I have had the experience of disappearing in the crowd at a church, and it gets old fast. Kind of defeats the purpose of going to church when there is no community, if you ask me. But I am not sure there is a good way to make people feel welcome when we don’t know anyone. And that’s the risk you take when those oh-so-sexy numbers start getting big.
December 1st, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Ugh, I’ve been through some awful gauntlets. The worst is where the church has assigned the greeter to be your personal attache. They glue themselves to you and try to ‘plug you in’ to each and every program before you’ve even been in a single worship service. I guess they’re afraid if they don’t hook you forever from the get go, you’ll get away. I was still one of the lucky ones that got away.
December 2nd, 2008 at 12:30 am
Man, I could write a book on getting “plugged in”. That phrase needs to be retired. I think it’s the same problem as the one the Greeter Gauntlet was created to address: How do we create intimacy in a crowd? I think churches believe the only way people will feel relational intimacy is to make them really, really busy.
December 4th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
You’ve got that right. The problem is that most churches are just too busy, in my opinion. They have so much going on to choose from. And most people are very busy anyway. So it all just blurs together. Seems people actually have to like each other and be motivated to hang out without the church telling them to for there to be real relationships.
December 5th, 2008 at 1:45 am
“Seems people actually have to like each other and be motivated to hang out without the church telling them to for there to be real relationships.”
You got it. They toss you in a small group, give you a book to study together, and your motivation for going is … well, you need to be in a small group studying a book together. We went to a home, met regularly from 6:30 to 8:15 pm, and made our way through the book. We did life together! Yay community! Let’s have a white elephant gift party and be done with it.